My first relationship began in the beginning of my freshman year of high school when I was only fifteen years old. I had never been in a relationship before so I didn’t know much about love or what you should expect from a relationship besides what I had heard from my friends, seen on television, or read in books. This relationship lasted for three years and challenged every part of my being. If I could go back in time to my freshman year, there are some things that I would tell my fifteen year old self about love and dating and this is a list of what I’d say.
- If you truly have feelings for someone, don’t be scared to take your relationship public because you’re scared of what those around you might think.
- You don’t always have to be the one to wait around by the phone for a text, you can send the first one and initiate contact.
- If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll make time for you no matter how busy they are.
- If you don’t feel like you can trust the person you’re with, you shouldn’t be with them. Trust is the biggest part of a relationship.
- It’s important to try to make a good impression with their family but if they don’t try to spend that same amount of effort getting to know you, you shouldn’t worry about it.
- You are allowed to have opinions that differ from the person that you love and those opinions should be respected.
- There will be arguments between the two of you, try to resolve that conflict before the night is over. Don’t let an argument carry over into the next day.
- You have a voice and you should always feel comfortable using it.
- If something is bothering you, don’t be afraid to speak up about it. Your problems can never be solved without communication.
- Pay attention to the way the person you’re with acts around other people.
- Don’t stick around with the same person if they have ever made you feel frightened.
- You always deserve respect.
- Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you have to compete with someone else for their attention. If that’s the case, you deserve better.
- You and your partner both deserve to have time for yourself, that isn’t a bad thing.
- Ultimately, your family and friends’ opinions of who you’re with won’t mean everything to you but you should always consider what they’re saying – especially if they’re very close to you. Sometimes they can see the bad things about people in your life before you can.
- You shouldn’t have to be the one putting in all the effort to fix the things that are wrong with your relationship.
- There will be some things you can’t fix and that’s okay.
- If you feel like you’ve exhausted every effort into trying to fix your relationship and you haven’t been able to, it’s okay to think about letting go.
- Never let anyone guilt trip you or manipulate you into staying with them.
- At the end of the day, you’ll always know what’s best for yourself. Above all else, always trust that instinct.
I’m not an expert on relationships and I’ve never been in a perfect relationship. But as I stated before, these were all the things that I would go back and tell myself before getting into my first serious relationship. Looking back now, I think that if I had known some of these things beforehand, I would’ve handled everything that relationship had thrown at me much better. During those three years, I was tested and challenged more as a person than I had ever been before. I went through things that I never thought I’d have to go through and I stuck around through things that I encouraged so many other people to not stick around for.
If you ever feel like you just need to talk to someone about your relationship, I highly suggest that you do so whether it’s a counselor, a family member or just a friend. I’m always available to anyone who wants to talk and I will always give the best advice that I can give.