If I Could Go Back and Give Myself Advice Before I Started Dating, Here’s What I’d Say…

My first relationship began in the beginning of my freshman year of high school when I was only fifteen years old. I had never been in a relationship before so I didn’t know much about love or what you should expect from a relationship besides what I had heard from my friends, seen on television, or read in books. This relationship lasted for three years and challenged every part of my being. If I could go back in time to my freshman year, there are some things that I would tell my fifteen year old self about love and dating and this is a list of what I’d say.

  1. If you truly have feelings for someone, don’t be scared to take your relationship public because you’re scared of what those around you might think.
  2. You don’t always have to be the one to wait around by the phone for a text, you can send the first one and initiate contact.
  3. If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll make time for you no matter how busy they are.
  4. If you don’t feel like you can trust the person you’re with, you shouldn’t be with them. Trust is the biggest part of a relationship.
  5. It’s important to try to make a good impression with their family but if they don’t try to spend that same amount of effort getting to know you, you shouldn’t worry about it.
  6. You are allowed to have opinions that differ from the person that you love and those opinions should be respected.
  7. There will be arguments between the two of you, try to resolve that conflict before the night is over. Don’t let an argument carry over into the next day.
  8. You have a voice and you should always feel comfortable using it.
  9. If something is bothering you, don’t be afraid to speak up about it. Your problems can never be solved without communication.
  10. Pay attention to the way the person you’re with acts around other people.
  11. Don’t stick around with the same person if they have ever made you feel frightened.
  12. You always deserve respect.
  13. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you have to compete with someone else for their attention. If that’s the case, you deserve better.
  14. You and your partner both deserve to have time for yourself, that isn’t a bad thing.
  15. Ultimately, your family and friends’ opinions of who you’re with won’t mean everything to you but you should always consider what they’re saying – especially if they’re very close to you. Sometimes they can see the bad things about people in your life before you can.
  16. You shouldn’t have to be the one putting in all the effort to fix the things that are wrong with your relationship.
  17. There will be some things you can’t fix and that’s okay.
  18. If you feel like you’ve exhausted every effort into trying to fix your relationship and you haven’t been able to, it’s okay to think about letting go.
  19. Never let anyone guilt trip you or manipulate you into staying with them.
  20. At the end of the day, you’ll always know what’s best for yourself. Above all else, always trust that instinct. 

I’m not an expert on relationships and I’ve never been in a perfect relationship. But as I stated before, these were all the things that I would go back and tell myself before getting into my first serious relationship. Looking back now, I think that if I had known some of these things beforehand, I would’ve handled everything that relationship had thrown at me much better. During those three years, I was tested and challenged more as a person than I had ever been before. I went through things that I never thought I’d have to go through and I stuck around through things that I encouraged so many other people to not stick around for.

If you ever feel like you just need to talk to someone about your relationship, I highly suggest that you do so whether it’s a counselor, a family member or just a friend. I’m always available to anyone who wants to talk and I will always give the best advice that I can give.


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At 19 years old, I am an avid lover of Jesus, a mother-to-be, a girlfriend to Zane, and a lover of everything country music.

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